Breaking the Interwebz

Breaking the Interwebz


Yesterday was D-Day, my friends. This website showed the first signs of sentience. From one perspective I lucked out, ’cause the quality of sentience displayed was (much like that of our current President) self-destructive. On the other hand, I literally spent all of yesterday cleaning up the shit-show left in the wake of my website (again, parallels can be drawn to our current President and the American people over the course of the next thirty years).

So yeah, the website crashed. Hard. Like, “Daddy, daddy, look at me, no feet!” hard.

 

via GIPHY

Curious to see the full extent of my ignorance when it comes to all things web related? Read the story/plea for help I sent to my theme provider below.

Subject: I don’t even know where to begin.

“Dear Mr. or Mrs. Digital Wizard,

The number of snowballing issues I’m currently experiencing is bordering on ludicrous. I’ll try my best to recall all the cascading gremlins as they appeared, but I might miss one or two because, as previously mentioned, issues have been appearing at ludicrous speed.

As of two days ago I’d yet to update my theme to Divi’s newest version. I’m slow and behind the times, but everything’d been working just fine, so whatever, no bigs. But then I get a message in my dashboard saying, “You’re running PHP 5.6 like a fool. Don’t you know PHP 7.0 is where it’s at?” I’m all for increased efficiency, but if I knew then what I know now about the can of worms I was about to open, oh dear god, I woud’ve stayed in the PHP 5.6 slow lane for the rest of my life.

Anyways, I had no idea what was going to happen (and even less idea what the hell I was actually doing) so I popped over to my host and fiddled with some stuff until I figured out how to switch from PHP 5.6 to PHP 7.0.

In the spirit of full disclosure, it was at this point WordPress told me, “Hey Slick, you really should check compatibility with your current theme. It’s totes easy, just click HERE!.” And I would have, I swear, but again, Divi wasn’t upgraded to its most current form, and so your hallowed halls of Customer Support were closed to my heathenish self.

Okay, so we make the switch to PHP 7.0 and this is where the roads get slick, my butt starts puckering, hands go to 10 and 2 (yeah, yeah, I know, it’s now 8 and 4, but I’m old school. That’s just how I roll), and we the back end starts getting a little squirrely. I pop back over to my website and things look more or less normal, except the blog. The blog is there as you can see in picture uno.

 

But when you click on the actual posts, you more or less get a 404 error message. Don’t believe me? I thought you might not, so I brought along picture dos to corroborate my story.

 

I’m a do-it-yourself’er so to Google we go! There, pretty much everybody is in agreement that the solution is easy. So simple even a child could do it. Just go into your dashboard settings —> permalinks and refresh the save. I’m worth at least 2 children, so I figure, I got this.

But I was wrong. I didn’t have it. Not even a little bit.

I refreshed permalinks (which were custom set to some bamboozling concoction of date stamps, ampersands, and post titles) and nothing happened. Not a thing. The world kept spinning. So then somebody says, “Oh, you need to first change the setting, save it there, then revert back to the original. Then you’ll be right as rain.”

In hindsight I have strong reason to believe that person hated me. It’s the only explanation for what followed.

This is where the wheels came off. Actually, that’s selling it short. This is where the Michelins came off, rolled down the side of a mountain while flipping me the bird, hopped into a raging river and went full Tom Sawyer and Huckleberry Finn, never to be seen or heard from again.

The website, and I meant the entire friggin’ website, goes full internal server error 500, which I didn’t fully understand at the time, but if Indianapolis has taught me anything, it’s that bad things come in 500s. I was wary.

Oh, and I was also completely locked out of my website. Couldn’t access squat, not even the admin/login screen. It was dire, Mr. or Mrs. Digital Wizard. So I scampered back to my hosting site and fiddled with some more things. I tried reverting to a backed up copy of the site from the good old days when, ya know, there was still an actual site to behold. That didn’t do the trick, so then on a whim I changed the theme from the server side host to some random, free hobo’esque thingamajigger.

Voila! The website goes full Return of the Jedi. It’s back, if not entirely an eye sore, but hey, progress marches on!

In the grips of curiosity, I switch back to Divi and, wouldn’t ya know it, it works again. Not the blog, I mean, we still have that original sin on our soul, but at least we’re back to square one.

At this point, I say, Okay. I need to upgrade Divi because it’s probably running some outdated nonsense that is creating compatibility issues with the PHP/Permalink switches. So I shell out the cash and put my nose back to the grindstone to try and divine why the hell none of my blog posts are actually there anymore.

Fast forward 36 hours and a new problem emerges. I’m being haunted by a ghost. Remember when I told you I went into my hosting service and reverted to a previously backed up version of the site? Yeah, well, THAT version of the site is the one I see when I go into my dashboard to edit things, but when I physically go to my website, THIS is what I see (refer to the picture accurately labeled Ghost Website).

Ghost Website

Actual Website

Before you ask, yes, I cleared my browsing history and ate my cookies at least 12 times. Contrary to what this email might lead you to believe, I’m not a complete idiot. Oh, I also tried turning the internet off and then back on again. That was also a no-go.

So here we are, I’m being haunted by a version of my website that will not respond to any changes I make in the dashboard, and a blog full of posts that lead nowhere. Needless to say I probably exhausted the full breadth of my do-it-yourself’iness within the first five minutes, but I’m finally ready to ask for help.

Please, please, please, for the love of god, save me from myself, Mr. or Mrs. Digital Wizard.”

Interestingly enough, this was pretty early in the evening, and you would think I’d just call it a night and wait for reinforcements to arrive, but you’d be wrong. I got my shovel back out and kept digging my hole deeper and deeper. Exhausted and frayed, I ran over to my host (BlueHost) and asked their 24/7 customer service peeps for help. Long story short, they had me straightened out within 15 minutes.

Moral of the story: Trying is the first step towards failing. So never try.

Second moral of the story: If you’re looking to start your own website, I highly recommend hosting your domain through BlueHost. Those guys saved my bacon despite my many attempts at cooking my own bacon. It’s also super cheap, only like $4 a month. 10/10 would recommend.

Got a website horror story? I’d love to hear from you. Get down to the comments and tell me about the last time you broke the internet!

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Cyberpunk Ain’t Dead…It’s Just Really Sleepy.

Cyberpunk Ain’t Dead…It’s Just Really Sleepy.

If you’ve ever read one of my stories, you’ve probably figured out by now that I’m pretty in love with cyberpunk. The interplay between society, individual freedom, and technology is a source of infinite material. A playground I could romp around in, shoving small children into the sandbox, all day long.

i think its deadBut there’s a problem. Namely, cyberpunk is dead. Or so was claimed a couple decades back by Bruce Sterling (a guy no stranger to cyberpunk himself). For a long time this made me really sad because I thought, “Man, I’m in love with a corpse.” Which, ya know, is frowned on in 45 of the lower states.

Nobody wants to be that guy who likes a thing that has suddenly gone out of vogue. It’s like being a reverse hipster (not as bad as a regular hipster, just sadder). Or showing up to a party that’s already over. All that remains is to clean up the leaked fluids, gather what remains of your pride, and shamble on home.

It nags at me, though. The question: Why is cyberpunk dead? Can it be revived? Perhaps it was just really, really tired and needed a long, couple decade long nap?

This, of course, coming from a guy who plays liberally with a host of cyberpunk tropes in every single one of his stories. Which just means I’m a hopeless optimist for the genre to make a resurgence.

Here’s the thing: Cyberpunk ain’t coming back. Not like it was back in the 80’s and 90’s at least, when masters like Gibson and Stephenson and Sterling were doing their things. No more leather dusters and mohawks cruising the Tokyo slums looking to jack in.

But that’s okay, ‘cause here’s the good thing: Cyberpunk never really left. (Ha, plot twist. How’s that for being entirely contradictory? That’s just me trying to keep you on your toes!)

Cyberpunk has evolved. Into something better? Maybe. Maybe not. Certainly different if nothing else. But here’s the awesome part: It’s been hiding right under our noses the entire time.

One of the attractive qualities of science fiction is that it deals with the future in a way that allows us to process our reconceptualize our present. Extrapolating technological innovations and the inevitable social ramifications is, at it’s heart, what science fiction is all about. Whether we’re dealing with laser wielding aliens, or mega-AI-driven-corporations, or even post-apocalyptic mutant wastelands, we’re always looking forward.

The problem with cyberpunk is that it wasn’t looking far enough forward. It projected the world a few decades out which meant that as soon as the present caught up to the future, the genre as an archetype was done. All the predictions either came true or they didn’t. Suddenly, cyberpunk was dated.

Whoops. Talk about writing yourself into a corner.

Want some examples? Of course you do!

Let’s pick apart some examples from Neuromancer (which you should definitely read, if you haven’t already, because it is one of the all-time classics of the genre), and show what happens when the future becomes now.

Cyberspace/Virtual Reality/Augmented Reality

“Cyberspace. A consensual hallucination experienced daily by billions of legitimate operators, in every nation, by children being taught mathematical concepts…a graphic representation of data abstracted from banks of every computer in the human system. Unthinkable complexity. Lines of light ranged in the nonspace of the mind, clusters and constellations of data. Like city lights, receding.”William Gibson (Neuromancer)

Alright, so already way back in the 80’s, this was the working definition of cyberspace as given to us by Gibson. Now, in his world, “console cowboys” navigated a virtual cyberspace in a very real sense. It was a physical environment made tangible by powerful computers, electrodes, and a healthy amount of induced hallucination.

Now, perhaps we as an internet using people have not progressed quite to that point, but the rise of personal computers, the world wide web, smart-phones, and every other piece of technology that keeps us connected 24/7 isn’t so terribly far off. Compound that with some of the consumer grade tech (think Google Glass and Oculus Rift) flowing down the pipeline later this year, and bam… we’re jacking into the network in ways predicted way back in the 80’s.

Next Big Thing in Augmented Reality

Interestingly, the biggest hitter in the cyberpunk genre in the past decade was successful precisely because it capitalized on that 1980’s nostalgia while also ladling in a healthy amount of immersive tech.

What story is that?

Ready Player One came on the scene in a huge way and it wouldn’t be too hyperbolic to claim it sort of redefined the genre. But, though it tapped into gamer culture, and tinkered with the idea of an immersive 3 dimensional virtual reality somewhat similar to the old guard (think Snow Crash and Neuromancer) it doesn’t really resemble traditional cyberpunk in any sort of meaningful way.

That’s not a bad thing of course, just different. Genres grow. They expand. They evolve. They have to, otherwise they stagnate and die. Epic Fantasy went through a similar period back in the early 2000’s as people grew tired of the same old good-vs-evil, farmer boy with a quest storyline. But now look at Epic Fantasy, it’s healthy and vibrant and flourishing.

One of the interesting cultural things about Ready Player One is that there is already a huge community of gamers (Second Life is the big hitter) already angling for that precise reality. So, like its forefathers, Ready Player One has already dated itself. Then again, it sort of did that by default by relying so heavily on 1980’s references, so whatever.

Wearable Technology

“Booths lined a central hall. The clientele were young…They all seemed to have carbon sockets planted behind the left ear…Behind the counter a boy with a shaven head stared vacantly into space, a dozen spikes of Microsoft protruding from the socket behind his ear.” – Gibson (Neuromancer)

Cyberpunk as a genre always took wearable tech to its logical extreme, whether that be portable decks, goggles, electrodes, or what Gibson termed microsofts (which incidentally has nothing to do with the company Microsoft). We as a culture are still lagging behind cortical stacks as seen in Richard K. Morgan’s Altered Carbon, but we’ve definitely arrived at a place where at any given moment you’re within arm’s reach of a smart-phone. Shit, that’s literally true if you’re wearing a smart-watch.

Wearable tech on the whole, however, hasn’t really taken off yet. Google Glass’s attempt at augmented reality didn’t really work out?

Why not?

This is just opinion, but I think it has to do with the fact that we as a culture aren’t quite ready to be tied that intricately to our technology. Sure, we absolutely, totally are reliant and addicted to our tech, but we prefer the illusion of freedom. At any point, I can put my phone down and pretend I don’t need it. That becomes a different story when I have a port implanted behind my ear.

Then again, there’s the question of infrastructure and digital lag. Unfortunately (again as witnessed by Google Glass) our software just isn’t sophisticated enough to create a seamless transition to augmented reality via wearable tech. Sure, we’re definitely getting there (likely within the next decade), but at the moment, wearable tech just ain’t quite there yet.

I hear you clucking over there, “Well, Anthony, doesn’t that mean there is still space for the exploration of wearable tech within cyberpunk?”

Yes, absolutely there is. But, as we inch closer and closer to that reality, people become less and less comfortable exploring what might come of it. We like to think of the ramifications in terms of the far future, not near. There are lots of people out there right now who would be psyched on a cortical stack, but there are many, many more absolutely horrified by the concept.

This in a nutshell is why cyberpunk is such a hard sell now adays.

Prosthetics and Plastic Surgery

In Neuromancer there’s a character named Molly who has mirrored cybernetic eyes built into her sockets. It displays the time, random data, and allows her to see in the dark. There’s a bartender with cybernetic arms that whirr gently as he moves. Joe-boys are fellas with huge vat grown muscles.

Unfortunately, none of this is science fiction anymore. Plastic surgeons have recently performed the first face transplant, and enhancing biceps, breasts, butts, and calves are so routine that they’re practically outpatient procedures.

The most interesting part of all this is the application of prosthetics, in my opinion. Today we are seeing individuals with degenerative muscular disorders, paraplegics, and individuals who’ve suffered catastrophic brain damage, navigating their world via neurally linked prosthetics.

For now the technology is mostly reserved for individuals with pressing medical need, but it won’t be too far out in the future that we begin seeing cosmetic/commercial applications of this tech.

But again, this is bad news for cyberpunk, because as these technologies become more and more integrated and feasible, they lose that edge of wonder and freshness that once categorized the genre. Yes, we will see individuals in the future with bionic arms. No, that isn’t terribly imaginative anymore.

Good science fiction has always been defined by its ability to innovate and surprise and predict. And sure, cyberpunk predicted these things, but now what’s it going to pull out of its hat?

SimStim (Simulation/Stimulation)

This is the idea that you could recordconnectome and upload experiences/emotions from one individual to another. A sort of shared, collaborative experience. This is one of those areas of cyberpunk that is unfortunately a ways away, though there has been significant work done in recent years.

Problem is, the human brain is crazy complex. The Human Connectome Project is in the process of mapping every neuronal juncture in the brain, but at the end of the day, there are just a shit ton of connections.

Don’t believe me? Check out The Connectome’s Website and see some pictures that will absolutely blow your mind.

Perhaps it’s because how far out this concept still is, but it’s actually a fairly popular one in modern culture. I myself riffed heavily on it in my short story Purgatory where we follow through the eyes of Jarek, an Imagineer for ImagineNation, who’s job it is to daydream experiences for others to experience.

Though this would be mega-cool, and would totally revolutionize how we interact with art and media, it’s not going to be happening any time soon.

Constructs

The idea that we can dump a person’s memories, skills, and personality onto a hard-drive. This is my most favoritest trope within the cyberpunk genre and I deal heavily with it in Time Heist and Mind Breach.

The reason this concept fascinates me so, is that we are getting to a place within the digital age that so much of our lives is out there on the interweb. Eventually, a sophisticated enough computer system, able to mind the data deep enough, could theoretically reconstruct any one of us based on a personality metric. It could not replicate memories, of course, but that’s where the idea of copying the connectome, retracing each individual neural pathway to create a comprehensive neural map, comes into play.

This chain of thought opens up countless possibilities. Each avenue of consequence forking into a thousand others. What’s it mean to be alive within this context? If you separate the mind from the body, what is left over? Are you still living? Is a replica of you still you?

I explore this idea in a short story On the Protean Shore which is due out in an anthology revolving around the them of Afterlife sometime later this year.

A lot of ethical, philosophical, legal, and spiritual ramifications to this sort of technology arise. Thankfully, it is still a ways out, but that is precisely why this is one of the hottest tropes to emerge from modern day cyberpunk.

Further Reading

Alright, my beautiful readers, by now you’re saying to yourself, “Boy howdee, I want to read some cyberpunk!” No sweat, I got your back. Below are three of my favorite cyberpunk novels to come out in the past 10 years. Check them out and let me know what you like, or what you don’t like.

Then again, maybe you’re done with cyberpunk. If that’s the case, get down to the comments and let me know why? What happened? Where’d the love go? Or maybe you’ve never been into the genre. That’s cool, why is that?

Oh, and do me a solid, get down to the comments and leave a recommendation for any awesome cyberpunk you’ve stumbled upon recently.

 

Giving Away 5 FREE Time Heist Audiobooks (and 5 FREE Ebooks!)

Giving Away 5 FREE Time Heist Audiobooks (and 5 FREE Ebooks!)

Confession time: I love audiobooks. They’re a fantastic alternative to dragging your eyeballs across an electronic screen, or a sheet of dead tree sprinkled with bits of black ink. Problem is:

Audiobooks are crazy expensive.

After having gone through the production process to bring Time Heist into existence as an audiobook, I now understand why. Production costs include so many variables that getting a high quality audiobook on a measly budget is darn near impossible. As a result, ten hour long books such as Time Heist retail at around $24!

Yikes…

Now, don’t get me wrong, I like to think it’s totally worth that. But, did you know, there are ways to get it for under $5? Yeah, I stumbled upon this myself not too long ago. The trick is to buy the ebook first from Amazon and then you can take advantage of a special sale price of the audiobook. For Time Heist, all told, you can get the ebook and audibook for under $5.

That’s a great deal, but I want to go one step further.

I want to give you the Time Heist Audiobook for FREE!

ebook Time Heist - 1875x2500 pix 300dpi

So, I’ve set up a little Rafflecopter giveaway with the idea of giving away 5 FREE audiobooks along with another 5 FREE ebooks.

a Rafflecopter giveaway

The contest will only run through the weekend, so if you want to win a prize, you’d better sign up today.

Want to better your chances of winning? Easy. Get more bonus entries into the giveaway by blogging or tweeting about this giveaway. Or just follow me on Facebook or Twitter for a quick and easy bonus entry.

Winners will be chosen on Monday night. Audiobook winners will be gifted a copy of Time Heist through Audible. Winners of the ebook will be gifted a copy through Amazon.

Alright,  folks! Comment and share to better your chances of reigning victorious in this winner-take-all-battle-royale! (Actually, that’s not true. I will not be awarding one person 5 copies of the same book. So, more accurate would be to say 5 winners-take-all-battle-royale!)

Augment Cover Reveal!

Augment Cover Reveal!

This poor project has had the absolute worst luck in getting finished. I began it last Spring while an early draft of Mind Breach was in the hands of my Alpha reader as a short story simply known as “3 Days After“. That story concluded at roughly 30,000 words and I thought to myself, “Well, what happened 3 Days Before?” So then I started scribbling out a second story, only loosely connected to the first by a single ancillary character. After wrapping that up at around 25,000 words the gears were still turning and I had this burning urge to explore what happened even before the events of the other two stories took place. Once more I took up the pen and wrote a third story (a prequel to the prequel) which finished up at around 15,000 words or so.

Then I got the call from Samuel Peralta and tabled all that so I could quickly write what would eventually become Extant. I eventually got back to working on this Augment project, and as I neared the finish line, I began talking with cover designer extraordinaire, Adam Hall, from AroundthePages. If you’ve never checked out this guy’s work before, you should. He’s amazing.

Don’t believe me? Well, fine, check these out!

   

Yeah, those are some pretty snazzy covers, huh? Also, on a totally related note, I’ve read each of those stories and they are all marvelous. If you got a few extra pennies lying around, I highly recommend you check them out.

Anyways, back to Augment. October rolled around and Augment was all ready for one final read-through and then it could go off to the editor. Unfortunately, around this time, I realized how far behind I was on Mind Breach (Book 2 in the Firstborn Saga). I made the decision to put Augment, and life for the most part, on the back burner while I blitzed through Mind Breach. But the whole time, I’ve had this amazing Adam Hall cover burning a hole in my back pocket.

But not no mo. It’s time to share the fruits of Adam’s labor with all ya’ll. Ready? Good. Here ya go.

Augment Final

Pretty snazzy, huh? I really dig this cover for a bunch of reasons. First, it’s bold and simple with a surprising amount of detail and nuance. Second, it really nails the episodic nature of this book.

Now, you may be asking yourself, when can I grab myself a copy of this flashy book. And the answer is… I don’t know. It’ll be at least another month, but I’m ears deep in the muck of The Firstborn Saga right now and I don’t want to ruin that flow. What I can tell you, however, is that the lovely folks subscribed to my Newsletter will get first crack at it. (Also, they may or may not be getting it at a significantly discounted rate, just saying). So, if you haven’t already, might I recommend you sign up for the Newsletter? Also, you’ll get 3 FREE stories to tie you over until Augment’s release, so that ain’t so bad, right?

SIGN UP HERE FOR THE NEWSLETTER

Curious what the actual stories are about? Good question. Here ya go:

Nemesis

They thaw Trigger out whenever they need a job done, wipe his memories, and give him a name. He does the rest.

He’s running from a past he can’t remember, but it beats rotting in prison.

Trigger once said he’d kill for a second chance; he’ll gladly prove it.

Homebody

Naiara killed herself. Or so they say. Her personality construct, housed inside Quark’s massive server-farm on Jordan Graves’ private island, however, is pretty sure she wouldn’t do something like that.

But nobody trusts the word of a depressed woman’s digital reconstruction. Somehow she’ll just have to prove it to them.

The Watchmaker’s Daughter

Ana-Lisa was only two-years-old the first time she died. Famed neural prosthetic scientist, Rebecca Davignon, burdened by a mother’s crushing grief, thought she could bring her daughter back.

Unfortunately for them both, she was right.

Alright, all you beautiful people at home. I want you to do me a favor. Get down to the comments and share with us your favorite book cover of the last year.

The State of MY Union…

The State of MY Union…

It’s about a month since I last posted anything here (and about two months since I posted anything particularly substantial in the way of a review or article). Some of you have reached out, concerned that I finally drowned away all my sorrows at the bottom of a bowl of cheerios. Well, I’m back to say: That’s only partially true. I’m still hobblin’ about, no worries. Daddy’s not intending to slip out in the middle of the night and leave ya’ll guessing. (Am I referring to myself in third person as Daddy? Yes, yes I think I am. Leave me alone, it’s my blog, I’ll refer to myself however I want.)

So where’d I run off to? Good question.

Mind Breach

mindbreach_final1 1575x2...

This is the reason I left you folks flapping in the wind for the last few months. Mind Breach, book 2 in the Firstborn Saga after Time Heist, had become an albatross around my neck. It was a nefarious dueling partner the likes of which I’ve never encountered before. The second book in a trilogy is hard ’cause it has sooo much to live up to and set up for the final book. In Mind Breach I decided I didn’t want to play it safe and stay inside my wheelhouse by telling the story in first-person like I did with Time Heist. Instead, I’ve pulled back into third person and introduced SIX POV characters, four of which could make a compelling case that they–and not the others–are indeed the main character.

Mind Breach really tested my storytelling craft, and at this point I’m still not sure whether or not I pulled it off (currently the story is in the hands of beta readers, so I suppose I’ll find out son). Interweaving so many storylines was dragging me into a quagmire of confusion back in October which eventually led me to say, “Fuck it, I’m not doing anything else until I finish this damn thing.” So, that’s what I did. I stopped blogging, limited my social media time, stopped reviewing. Stopped doing everything besides working on Mind Breach. Thankfully it’s finally at that point where I can wipe my brow and move on.

What’s all that mean? Well, it means if all goes to plan, Mind Breach will be out in the wild sometime in late Spring.

Time Heist Audio

ebook Time Heist - 2820x4500 pix 300dpi

Don’t know whether or not you heard, but the Time Heist audiobook came out this last December, narrated by the masterful Adam Verner. Now, I love audiobooks as much as the next guy, but the problem is they are so damned expensive. Well, fear not dear readers. For a limited time you can get the Time Heist audiobook AND the ebook for only $5. All you got to do is pop on over to amazon and grab the ebook for $2.99 and then you can take advantage of the special sale they have running which will allow you to get the audio for only $1.99.

That’s right. If you already have a copy of the Time Heist ebook, you can get the audio for only $1.99. That’s a great deal no matter how you slice it. So head on over today and get yourself a copy.

Not sure you actually want to read Time Heist? Then maybe this review from the Garbage-File.com will change your mind!

“The narrative is punchy, modern and has a staccato feel that allows the pace to remain quite intense from first page to the last but, at the same time, has an almost old fashioned, elegant, and poetic structure that I don’t normally come across in modern science fiction.” – Garbage-File.com

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