Time Heist Paperback Available Now!

Time Heist Paperback Available Now!

Yeah, you read that correctly. The paperback version of Time Heist is finally out. A whole day before the digital version, no less.

How is such a thing possible? Well, I’ve decided that before the paperback version goes live on Amazon, I would offer you all an opportunity to pick up a copy directly from my distributor for only $9.99, which is $3 off its going rate over at Amazon.

Want to get your copy? Follow this LINK, or click on the picture below to be taken over to CreateSpace where for the next few days only, you can grab a copy of Time Heist for less than $10!

Already pre-ordered the digital version? No worries! Look for that to be uploaded to your Kindle reading device tomorrow!

Time Heist

Anthony

Pacific Rim

Pacific Rim

Couple summers back I saw previews for Pacific Rim which coincided a bit too closely with the release of Transformers, which was definitely too close to Transmorphers (don’t know what that is? Netflix that shit. Pure cinematic gold) for my tastes. Enormous human driven mech’s fighting gargantuan monsters from a different dimension in the ocean? It seemed like a pretty dubious starting point. Add to the mix that I’ve never really gone in for the Godzilla/King Kong massive monster destroying uber-city of your choice plot line, and I was skeptical enough to stay away for quite a while.

Transmorphers! Yeah, Buddy!

Transmorphers! Yeah, Buddy!

Now, recently, somebody who shall remain nameless, but who’s taste in sci-fi is one I respect, kept telling me how awesome Pacific Rim is. Honestly, I thought they were dicking with me. It didn’t seem so far fetched that next they would try selling me on some cheap beach-side real estate in Florida.
‘Cause swamps totally count as beach-side, right?
Well, after seeing Pacific Rim, I’m not so sure I want to be anywhere near the ocean ever again.
So, I bit the bullet, made some delicious home-made pizza that totally didn’t give me food poisoning which is only slightly more surprising than the fact that I actually enjoyed Pacific Rim.
I know, I hate myself for it.
Anyways, I love pretty much everything else Guillermo Del Toro has directed, so I figured it couldn’t be a complete waste.
First thing you’ll really notice about Pacific Rim is that they didn’t skimp on the CGI budget. The kaiju’s (read: big beasts) are each unique, bad-ass, and scary-as-hell. The jaegers—what the movie refers to their mechs’—are nothing special, but they are a step up from Megazord in the Power Rangers, so I consider that a win.
Second thing you’ll notice is that the science in this movie hasn’t been thought through very well. They introduce some awesome concepts, but then intentionally water them down with really arbitrary caveats. Such as, it takes two pilots to “mind drift”—effectively they link minds—to move these hulking bits of metal around.

God we look good when we're synchronized!

God we look good when we’re synchronized!

Each pilot is in charge of one “hemisphere” of the machines supposed brain, so one guy is in control of the right arm and leg, the other guy man’s the left.

 

This is downright silly. Ok, you suspend your disbelief long enough to accept the fact that they have the technology to link minds and manufacture jaegers the size of skyscrapers, but somehow they can’t come up with a better way to pilot these damn things? I mean, shit, give one guy the legs, the other guy the arms.
Have you ever done the three legged walk with a buddy at your dad’s company picnic? Yeah, well imagine that, but trying to fight a roid-raging monster from a different dimension, and you’re gonna be clumsy as fuck.
Anyhow, let’s look past that. We’ll even look past the part where one of the kaiju’s releases an EMP which shuts down all the other jaegers except our heros because, get this, their analog. They’re engine is nuclear.
Never-mind all the electronics we see on a near constant basis in the cockpit. I’m sure those are all analog, too.
But seriously, whoever came up with that should be publicly shamed. Just lazy writing.
Ok, let’s look past that, too. Surprisingly for all the plot holes and lazy writing throughout the story, the part that had me pulling my hair was when at the end of the movie one of our main character jumps into the ocean with her full-metal suit that must way a metric-shit-ton, and swims to her partner.
Have you ever tried swimming with shoes on? That’s hard enough. Ever done it with metal shoes? And shoulder pads? And the equivalent of a large child actively trying to drown you?
Well, if you haven’t, allow me to inform you how impossible that simple act most assuredly was.
If you’ve read this far, you’re probably getting the impression that I really disliked the movie, which if you read the beginning of this rant, you’ll realize is not the case.
Despite the movie’s really liberal use of science and physics, it was actually a really fun movie. The action was fun, the fight scenes great, and ya know, all things told, the acting could have been worse. If you like mindless action with really pretty things going boom, (pretty much I’m saying if you like any Michael Bay movie) then you’ll probably get a kick out of this. I mean, come on, Godzilla isn’t exactly sound science, and that’s entertaining as hell.
Just don’t look too deep, otherwise the gaping plot holes will suck you in.

Let me leave you with something pretty awesome. If you’re into kaiju, which I’m assuming you are if you’ve bothered to read this far. There was a great anthology that came out a little ways back called Kaiju Rising: Age of Monsters that a buddy of my Peter Stenson wrote a hilarious story for. If you’re looking for a bunch of awesome, diverse stories, you should definitely check it out.

download

 

Anthony Vicino

One Week ‘Til Time Heist! Plus something Free!

One Week ‘Til Time Heist! Plus something Free!

Duck and cover! Shameless self-promotion incoming!!!

We got less than a week until Time Heist hits the shelves. If you haven’t already, get over to Amazon and pre-order your digital copy. If you’re waiting for the paperback, no fear, that also will be available on the 1st (there’s just no pre-order option for that, yet).

Click me!

I tell you what, I want to sweeten the pot for those of you sitting on the fence. If you pre-order today and email me at Anthony@OneLazyRobot.com saying, “Dude, I totally picked up a copy, so psyched. Ahhh, head’s about to ‘splode!” Then I’ll send you a FREE copy of Standing Kill Orderlies with the Bonus short story Infidelity included for not other reason than I like the cut of your jib.

Free is good. Very good.

Free is good. Very good.

So what are you waiting for? Go secure your copy of Time Heist and get back over here so I can shower you with free words!

Anthony

Books of the Week!

Books of the Week!

Hey guys, quick post here. Looking for some book recommendations to kick your week off? Check these out.

Elantrist for your fantasy needs.

Darwin Elevator for your sci-fi action adventure needs.

Y: The Last Man for your graphic novel needs!

 

Anthony

All You Need Is Kill Review

All You Need Is Kill Review

Awhile back a buddy of mine from work was telling me about this book he was reading. There were aliens, time travel, Japanese mecha, and you could stop right there cause you had me at aliens.

And time travel.

And pretty much it doesn’t take a lot to get me psyched.

So I checked out All You Need Is Kill by Hiroshi Sakurazaka. It’s been described as Armageddon meets Groundhogs Day, which is the most accurate blurb you’ll ever get.

You follow from the eyes of a low-level grunt on the alien equivalent of D-Day. Some stuff happens and he gets stuck in a loop. Every time he dies he starts the day over.

Invincible Monty Python

Sort of like any arcade style shooter if you got enough quarters.

First thing to point out about All You Need Is Kill is that it’s translated into English from it’s original Japanese. Which is mind blowing on account of how good that translation is. The prose is tight, and with the exception of only a few wonky sentences, everything is spot on.

Why is this impressive? Because this book is hilarious. Making a joke in your native tongue is tough enough. Doing it in a different language and then translating it over so that it retains its essence and flow is on a whole other level of hard.

Tip o’ the hat to whoever is responsible for that. Seriously.

Now, despite the fact that you’re reliving the same day a couple hundred times throughout the course of the book, Sakurazaka manages to make each chapter, each day, fresh, exciting, and hilarious.

The story itself entertains an interesting concept. The aliens themselves aren’t particularly interesting, but their reasons for being here, and what they’re doing, are. There’s a cool little twist in there that I won’t ruin for ya’ll, but needless to say I thought it was a refreshing take on the we’ve traveled across the Universe to probe your cavities and take your water alien invasion.
As if these super intelligent beings capable of interstellar travel really need our precious resources.

There’s a bit of a love story that forms throughout with a woman affectionately referred to as the Full Metal Bitch. Which is their way of saying she’s a strong willed, independent woman. Eh, they could’ve done better there, but it’s the military. Not an organization prided on their gender equality, so maybe?

Anyways, the ending of All You Need Is Kill leaves me with mixed feelings. On the one hand its bittersweet and I love leaving a story feeling like I just got punched in the nads. But it also felt a little forced?

Perhaps I’m obtuse—which perhaps doesn’t need the perhaps preface— but I didn’t understand why everything in the last few chapters was really necessary. Maybe somebody could draw me a diagram?

The other notable thing about All You Need Is Kill, is that it was recently adapted for the silver screen. Tom Cruise plays our Japanese protagonist in the blockbuster hit The Edge of Tomorrow—a cool name, by the way, but I think they should have stuck with All You Need Is Kill.

I’m pretty tough on movies adapted from books I’ve read and loved. I’m looking at you Ender’s Game. I’m doubly tough on Tom Cruise, ya know, ‘cause I think crazy, rich people should work harder for my love.

Well, guess what? I went into this movie expecting to be disappointed and surprise, surprise… I wasn’t.

Wha, wha, whhaaaat?

Seriously, it was good. No. It was kind of great. The humor was there without being in your face. The story captivating. The acting better than I could do. What more can you ask for?

Okay, these are the things I’d ask for, ya know, since you’re asking.

Better Mechs. Ho Mah Gawd, the suits in Edge of Tomorrow were only slightly worse than the suitss in Elysium, which is saying a whole lot.

It's the Future, we don't need no Nad Protection.

Elysium: It’s the Future, we don’t need no Nad Protection.

Zero Nad Protection

Zero Nad Protection

In the book we’re painted this image of real bad ass machines waging war on tank like monsters. In the movie Tom Cruise doesn’t even wear a helmet. I mean, what the hell? Sure, they give him a helmet that he promptly discards on account of the very obvious fact that it gets in the way. But come on, I wear a helmet on my bicycle. You should wear one when you go to war.

I’m pretty sure that’s in the Waging War Handbook.

Um…other big gripe would be the ending. Now, I’m not gonna give anything away here, but I refer you to my previous comment on bittersweet endings and how much I enjoy a good storytelling nut tap. Unfortunately, the ending of The Edge of Tomorrow didn’t deliver.

But hey, that’s just me.

One more thing I want to touch on when comparing Edge of Tomorrow with All You Need Is Kill, is the fact that the stories, while basically the same, diverge almost immediately. The movie’s plot is more involved and convoluted which actually worked out really well, in my opinion. All You Need is Kill is slightly simplistic by comparison, which again, is okay.

Neither story was trying to be something it’s not, which is rare in good sci-fi these days.
On the whole, I’d give both Edge of Tomorrow and All You Need Is Kill, four out of five stars.

What’d you think of the movie or the book? Did you like one more than the other? Hate both? Get to the comments and let me know!

Anthony

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